End of malay Wedding..now, we will continue in discussing about the Chinese Wedding which also quiet interesting and impressing!!!
From the perspectives of Traditional Chinese community, the person who having primitive lives and does not have the attention to get married is actually having their life like the other animals and the family relationship conception is not exist in their lives!!! This is a really straightforward statement but it actually facts. So, it shows how significant marriage comes into the picture for Chinese community.
According to Confucianism in mission of civilization, they have their definition in terms to define the human interaction such as father or husband and also to teach human to respect of this interaction. Chinese Wedding has becomes the common custom within 402 - 221 BC. Before modernization world, the girl is not allowed to choose their soul mate instead; her family will decide it for her. The marriage occurs just to fulfill the requirement for breeding and ensure the good family name in ‘all right reserved’ as well as for fathers and husbands’ requirement. Although the Chinese has their own old folk history but there has six ritual events which in general known as ‘3 aksara and 6 etiquette’, (Propose, Birthday Comparison, Engagement Gift, Wedding Gift Delivery, Election Marriage Day and Wedding Ceremony)
( illustration picture only..*_*..)
There also have several types of marriage according to Chinese community; there are sibling's marriage, klan's marriage, Antitesis marriage and Perennial System marriage. Let's check it out all those things^_^...
SIBLINGS MARRIAGE
Even this marriage is being prohibited in Chinese culture but it already been reported in Chinese Folk History long time ago. There have 2 persons who were Nuiwa( woman) and Fu Xi(man). Both of them were siblings. Long time ago, this world did not have many humans alive and these siblings have a great intention to marry each other but they felt ashamed. Because of that, they went to Kunlun Shan Hill and prayed to heaven to allow them to get married. They also said, “If You allowed us to get married, please covered us with mist to ensure we were not shy anymore. Nuiwa then, was covered her face with a fan as a symbolic to cover her shy. Nowadays, bride and as well as bridegroom at certain area in China still practicing this culture which was hiding their face with a fan.
CLAN MARRIAGE AND ANTITHESIS MARRIAGE
Inses marriage was the marriage between woman and man who having the same family name and this marriage has a risk to get the handicapped child and been strictly prohibited according to Chinese community. However, marriage between a son with relatives on the mother is not seen as inses. Different clans may have more than one surname. For example, there are many important clan who live along the Yellow River in ancient China, such as those that have the name of Huang Di Ji family, the family name common people, and Yan Di family who having family name, Jiang. Sometimes, these families were marriage with one generation to another generation.
Antithesis marriage is marriage outside the clan. This type of marriage is still happening in modern China. In Yunnan, men and women in minority groups, known as Nakhi form temporary pair and they hold each other as "Ahchu" instead of "husband and wife".
PERENNIAL MARRIAGE
In the perennial system of marriage, a man who became daughter’s husband will be living in his wife’s home. He also has to change his family name to his wife surname. This occurs in the transition from a monogamous marriage antithesis to indicate growth and decline of perennial system genes control system (ie system power father) in ancient China. When husband and wife died, were buried separately in the clan cemetery respectively.
Now, we will discuss about the process of marriage according to chinese people..
Visit and Observe
Generally, the purpose of propose being held is to know the background of the girl that being admired. This is because Chinese communities are very concern in fact of family origin, one’s manner, characters and behaviors of the girl. These characteristics are very vital to ensure the stable marriage can be built. However, the method of propose is depend on the man’s parent because usually they will ask the girl’s relatives or the girl’s friends about that girl to be married. Most Chinese people prefer to hold these discussions in a formal, such as in restaurants accompanied by other relatives. Tradition of eating together in restaurants to discuss regarding this matter can make tighten relationship between the two parties.
Propose
This stage is only carried out after both satisfied with the family background respectively. Next, a representative will be selected to conduct home visits to the girls to discuss matters relating to marriage. During this time, bride’s mother will discuss with the representatives of the dowry, the allocation table in the marriage feast and the most auspicious day for marriage and suit with it. However, the men will not make any fresh offer because they fear will affect their status. Any agreement reached will been told to the parents of the man. After that, the parents will discuss with their son to fulfill the girl side requirements. Then, if the agreement has been decided, the engagement between them will be held.
Engagement
Star birth or known as ‘zodiac’ plays an important role to determine whether both partners are matching or not. This is also used as a guide for the engagement day based on the Chinese calendar. Therefore, they will get advice from fortune talenter for fixing the date of engagement based on a book "Toong-Su". Payment in the form of red envelopes (ang pau) will be given to tilik fortune as a token of appreciation for service advice.
The appropriate date and time is very important to avoid disaster or failure in marriage. At this time, the future groom will visit the bride's home to fulfill the request. The bride will submit a piece of red paper or "NYEN-sang" containing the name, age, and date of birth obtained from tilik fortune when she agreed to be engaged. At this time, the ring exchange ceremony will be held. The ring will be remaining at both bride and groom’s finger till the official marriage ceremony occurred.
After the ceremony exchanging rings, "NYEN-sang" of the woman will be returned to fortune tilik to enable craftsmen tilik comparing the birth date with "NYEN-sang" of the man. After that, he will set a date and an appropriate time and record on a sheet of red paper or "nyik-kor". The actual wedding date will then be recorded in the two pieces of "nyik-kor" and handed over to the men and women who want to get married. "Nyik kor" contains of the recorded rules and customs to be followed by the prospective bride.
During the ceremony exchange of rings or wedding day ceremonies will be held at the Marriage Registration Office. On engagement day, the family man will also provide "Big Prize" to the women. The ‘big prize’ given as marked money which wrapped by red envelopes and some other goods including tea, "add happiness cake", a pair of animals, sweets and sugar, alcohol and tobacco. Tea is the most important prize as both families are prayed for the marriage couples to get many descendants like the tea had been provided. One day before the wedding ceremony, the groom’s family will invite their relatives or close friend to the bed set at the groom’s new house. Based on Chinese belief, the boy who is not married will be invited to sleep in the bed at night before the wedding day to ensure the wedding couple will bring fertility to them.
After been engagement for about a year or a period agreed by both parties, the weddings will be held. The marriage will be delayed if the death among the families occurred. This is because to show some respects and sympathy. The marriage must be postponed for one year if this situation occurs. But, nowadays, modern Chinese has decrease the duration of time to 100 days only. The traditional bridal costumes usually decorated with gold thread and made from the silk cloth and there are in white, red or yellow in color. The bridal costumes with black, blue and grey in color were strictly prohibited as these colors give the meaning of sadness or death.
On the morning of marriage, the ceremony of decorating hair on the bride will be conducted. The bride's family will invite women who have considered a good luck will come to help decorate the bride hair with women who still have parents and their children. These women will say a good word when binding bun bride.
Then, the groom will take tandu which most Chinese people today are more likely to choose a luxury car with a group of relatives and friends to invite the bride. They will make a sound along the journey to the bride house to create a lively scenario. Next, the groom goes directly to bride's house. When arrived, younger brother of the bride or the nearest male relatives who have not married will open the car door and will be awarded with a red envelope (ang pau).
A woman known as "Sam Poh" will help and guide both bride during marriage ceremony. Prior to invite the bride, the groom need to wait outside while enjoying the sweet bird soup with two eggs served by a man from the bride's family and then he was awarded by a red envelope just like before. This is believed to bring happiness to the lives of marriage couples in their future.
The ceremony will begin with marriage ceremonies to worship ancestors, or better known as the ceremonial "kow tow" in which the bride will be kneeling three times to heaven and earth, ancestors and their parents. Then, the couples will bow to one another and the Tea Ceremony will happen then. The parents of marriage couples will give the ‘ang pau’ to both of them. Besides that, ‘Sam Poh also been awarded the ‘ang pau’ for her contribution in guiding the bride and groom during the marriage ceremony.
Before leaving the house to groom, the ceremony taking photos with relatives and friends will be held. After that, the flower girls will carry a red umbrella to protect the bride to the groom’s transport (or tandu). The relatives of the bride would throw rice, red beans and green beans to her. The Red umbrella is believed will protect the bride from evil spirits, while rice and beans will attract gold chicken that brings good luck.
While awaiting the arrival of bridal couple, a small feast will be held at the groom’s home to entertain relatives, friends and neighbors. After the bride groom arrived at the house, fireworks and music with the sound of gong and drum will be played to celebrate the arrival. The bride will step up above the iron basins that have lighted the flame. It is a ritual to bring happiness and keep away from evil spirits. The ancestor worship ceremonies and drinking tea ceremony will be held again at home as a sign of respect to the family of groom. With this, the couple is already become legally married according to traditional Chinese culture.
(Source: Ann Wan Seng, (1995). Chinese Customs And Taboos. Penerbit Fajar Bakti)
On the night of marriage, the bridal couple will drink wine from two cups tied together by rope and red-colored cross between their hands. Based on Chinese culture, this act is a binding promise of marriage which common has in the Chinese marriage. Then, the bride will be given ladu half cooked and will be asked whether it was raw ladu. The bride must be answered "crude" represents she will bear a child and shows a happy family.
(Source: Ann Wan Seng, (1995). Chinese Customs And Taboos. Penerbit Fajar Bakti).
The bride should wake up early the next day to provide food to her husband’s family. This could prove the loyalty of the bride to the groom’s family and shows that the bride has the good manner and well qualified to be a wife. The bride will return home to visit her family with her husband three days after marriage. At that time, the groom will give a roast pork to the bride’s family as a sign of purity of the bride. Next, the bride will distribute pork to the relatives and neighbors.
Wedding Custom/Wedding Dress
Usually, the wedding custom is in red of color to symbolize good luck and fortunate. According to Chinese belief, the light color can drive away the evil spirit from disturbing their lives. At North of China, the wedding traditional dress likes robe or known as “Qi Pao” where it made from gold and silver thread to reveal the elegance. For the bride at Southern of China, they used to wear a dress which known as “Qun Gua”, “Kwa” or Cheongsam. “Qun Gua” can be divided to two parts and they been decorated with sewing in shape of dragon and phoenix bird which symbolize as the ideal loving between the couple. Besides that, the traditional bride’s dress usually include a red cover which been wear to cover the bride’s face at wedding ceremony. The both couple can only look each other directly at wedding night. However, this belief is no longer been practiced by the modern wedding couple nowadays because the wedding in this time no longer been decided by the parents of the bride and groom.
Dragon Wax and Phoenix
The shape of the dragon and phoenix usually been printed on the red wax which used at the wedding ceremony as symbolizing the unity towards the new family. The wax also been used at the wedding night to drive out the evil spirit because the evil spirits are not dare to come closer to the light environment. In addition, the wax can create the romantic environment to the wedding couple.
Happiness Sign and Red Envelope
Happiness sign which in the form of engraving marks on paper or metal fragments will be pasted to the entrance door of the house for the both families and also at the invitation Desk. It is considered the most important decoration in Chinese wedding ceremony. Furthermore, the happiness sign also was pasted at the bridal transport(car). The red envelope or ang pau occurred at the most official Chinese ceremony like the wedding ceremony and many more as it been said to have a good luck at that ceremony.
