MALAY WEDDING

Malay's people are really having the strong faith with their culture where it give the impact into their life. For them, the wedding custom must be given much attention. Every event during wedding process taken must be celebrate rejoice and fully traditional. There are several levels for Malay's wedding that are:

• Merisik (Visit and Observe)
• Meminang (Propose)
• Bertunang (Engagement)
• Adat Berinai (Wearing Henna)
• Wedding Ceremony

Here, we will expose one by one of this unique customs that are still practice by Malay's people nowadays....

MALAY WEDDING:Merisik (Visit and Observe)

٩͡[๏̯͡๏]۶٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶٩͡[๏̯͡๏]۶٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶٩͡[๏̯͡๏]۶٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶٩͡[๏̯͡๏]۶

This custom also call 'Meninjau' or 'Menengok' means observe or see. Its aimis to ensure that the girl is still single. This is important because in Islam, Muslim are not allowed to propose other's people fiancee. Therefore, it also can help the men to look foward with his future wife background which are related with domestic skill, culture, character, personality and importantly the similar belief in Islam. Commonly, this custom is done by his relatives like mother or uncle.

For girl side, there are some criteria that have to be looking foward before to accept the men propose to become her husband that are he should have the good background as a Muslim and have the good work for manage the big family one day.

The Condition to Propose Future Wife in Islam

1. That woman is not someone's fiancee.
2. That woman is not someone's wife.
3. That woman is not in 'iddah'.
4. That woman is not a person who 'haram' to marry for certain time, such as have the blood relation with wife or women who 'haram' to marry forever like her 'mahram'.

Sometimes, the men representative will give a ring that call im Malay 'Cincin Belah Rotan' and if she accepts, they will plan the date for next custom that is 'Peminangan'. But nowadays, the custom of 'Merisik' is seldom to be done because that couple already know each other, so they will proceed with 'Perminangan' to save the cost and time.

To know what are 'Peminangan' we continue it for next post.....see you!!

MALAY WEDDING: Meminang (Propose)

Once known that the girl has not been committed, the family will set a day for men to send a propose delegation. Managing person will be conducted by the immediate family of the men. Custom made for this pupose to state that they actually officially. Relatives of both parties will negotiate to set the date and time suitable for the engagement. In addition, discussion will also be held with repect to the delivary and the number of trips that will come to the ceremony of engagement to facilitate the women prepared during the engagement soon.

MALAY WEDDING: Bertunang (Engagement)

After discussions, the engagement ceremony will be held. The men will be represented by family members and closest relatives to the ceremony engaged. On that day, some feast will be held in conjunction with the engagement of the woman at home parties. Submissions like 'Barangan Hantaran' or presents consisting of 'Tepak Sirih' or 'Sirih Junjung', a ring, and some additional stuff like fruits, confectionery, clothing and many more will be given to the future wife.

By custom also, if the woman has an elder sister who still unmarried, the submission of presents will be give to her. This custom is called 'Langkah Bendul'. Number of presents are unique, which somewhat odd because the amount of five, seven, nine, eleven or thirteen, because it is said that the implication of even numbers are not good.Total delivery given by the woman will exceed the number of delivers by men. The custom to give expanses for wedding is also held during the engagement is conducted. However, sometimes it is run separately after a few weeks before the ceremony 'Persandingan' or reception conducted.

This ceremony will be initiated with representatives of the men to submit 'Tepak Sirih' to woman representatives and state their status officially. 'Pantun' or funny poem is often used in the ceremony as an intention to enliven that event. After the engagement was officially adopted, representatives of both parties will discuss the expanses of marriage, the engagement period and other related matters. The time period of engagement is usually one year or by consent of both parties.

The highlight of the ceremony during the engagement ring is put on the ring finger of future wife by the representatives of the male consisting of mother or sister. After that, engagement is already official.

MALAY WEDDING: Adat Berinai (Wearing Henna)

This custom is usually held in stages, that are:

Berinai Curi: held tree night before the wedding day with the nearest relatives only.

Berinai Kecil: held two night before the wedding day with relatives, neighbors and friends.

Berinai Besar: held the night before or after a wedding day for the special guest from the bride or groom invitation.

After the ceremony of 'Berinai' done, groom will not be spent at bride home, but will return to his home or if these groups come from far, the groom will spend the night at 'Penanggak' house, which mean houses close to the bride's house.

MALAY WEDDING: Wedding Ceremony

Before the wedding ceremony performed, many preparations will be undertaken include establishing big tent, prepare rooms and 'Pelamin' for the new bride and groom and also 'Bunga Telur'.

Wedding day is also known as 'Hari Langsung' or 'Hari Bersanding'. it is a ceremonial marriage and peak day for the bride and bridegroom call 'Raja Sehari'.

On that day, the council held with the royally attended by relatives, neighbors and friends. Both groom and bride will wear the wedding clothes, usually 'Songket' and beautifully decorated with glitter also.

Bride will be beautify by 'Mak Andam' before the 'Persandingan' ceremony began. For 'Mak Andam', traditional bridal makeup preceded by a spell curse to bring out the face glow of bridal and the bride is fed with 'Sireh' to remove the sense of nervous. There is also a bridal shaven eyebrows and cut the face hair to look more attractive.

Tradition seeks to sharpen the teeth is also done to beautify the teeth. But this tradition is no longer practiced by the Malay community today.

The groom will be pageant with 'Kompang' and accompanied by 'Bunga Manggar'. Arrival groom entourage will be greated with the splash of 'Beras Kunyit'. The bride will celebrate the arrival of the groom and then the bride and groom bridal then will be bring to the outside of house and sat in special places provide. Typically, the presentation of 'Pencak Silat' is also called the bride worship will be held. After that, the bride will be brought up to the house for 'Adat Bersanding'. In some places, the groom had a few obstacles in front of the stairs, in doorways or on the couches for the bride. Therefore representative groom must pay a ransom door or couches. Bride will be in harmony over a bed decorated beautifully and at the top of the couches is 'Bunga Pahar'. During this tradition held, 'Menepung Tawar' also done where the rose is splash on the bride and groom. The invited guests is attendance will also be given 'Bunga Telur'.

Next, the eating together event that is called 'Makan Beradab' or 'Makan Berdamai' conducts. Council was only attended by immediate family members of both parties. after the ceremony is over, both bride and groom will be shaking hands with parents, relatives and spectators who came.


In some places, two or three days after the wedding, the bridal couple will undergo ritual bath or 'Mandi Berlimau' or 'Mandi Sampat'. The ceremony is conducted as a symbol of that couple was safely together as a husbans and wife is valid. In this ceremony, the bride will be shower with 'Mayang Pinang', 'Air Kelapa' or 'Air Limau'. This custom made among immediate family members only.

A week after that, a custom 'Menyambut Manantu' to celebrate daughter in law will be held. In some places it is called 'Majlis Bertandang'. wedding will be held at groom home, but it is not delightful like the wedding ceremony in the bride house, it just simple. There is also some Malay people run it by only doing the prayer 'Majlis Doa Selamat' attend by relatives and neighbors without ceremony called 'Persandingan'.

After a few days at groom house, husband-wife will be taken to visit the family houses and relatives. The aim is to closer the relationship ties and in addition, both of them can get to know with the families of both parties.