WEDDING CEREMONY IN MALAYSIA: ETHINC SERAWAK WEDDING

MELANAU

A melanau marriage requires some traditional rites that are rather interesting. the man's relatives will come to the house his love to ask for the hand of the lady's hand formally. the man's side will bring gifts of genuine gold worth rm50. it can be any form be it bracellet, necklace, ring or even nugget. then the gift will be handed over to be agreed among invited elders that it is acceptable. the gold will be wrapped in a pink cloth and put on an ancient china like plate. the plate is inherited through the female members of the family. The more the number of the rings, the higher rank the owner has. in this case, there are nine rings which indicate middle class rank. i was told the highest rank is 12 which is where melanau families like abang and dayang.

gold wrapped on the plate, tapak sirih and a long knife which has gold rings attached at the handle.

Although polygamous marriage, with the consent of the first wife, is permitted, it is very rare and usually leads to divorce. The population of a village is divided into aristocrats (a-menteri ), commoners (a-bumi), and slaves (a-dipen ). Ideally marriage should be with a second cousin (patrior matrilateral) within the same rank; but in small, politically independent communities the need for talent has always favored cross-rank marriages. The father of a bride is covertly permitted to choose the bride-wealth and rank he desires for his daughter through any line of descent. A wedding is the most important public occasion on which upward or downward mobility is recognized and validated. Theoretically, all first marriages are arranged by parents, but the wishes of the proposed partners are usually taken into consideration. Parents do not arrange second marriages. For a period after the wedding, uxorilocal residence is ideal, but economic advantage often overrides the ideal. One child, usually the youngest, is expected to remain with the parents. Divorce is by mutual consent, and property acquired since the marriage is divided equally.

melanau bride and groom

in the night there is singing and dancing together

BIDAYUH

bidayuh wedding ceremony

Bidayuh is native community of Sarawak that most of them live outside the city of Kuching. There are various ethnic groups among the. Bidayuh community and their practices and customs holding its own. Culture and customs are influenced by many elements of rituals and beliefs. For the Bidayuh community, marriage is a way to become a member and enjoy rights as a member biik or ramin. Bidayuh community practice monogamy only. However, re-marriage after divorce is a common thing. Because of the strong prohibition against incest. Bidayuh communities also prohibit marriage between cousins. Groups such as the Dayak Selako prohibits its members from married people who had been members of enemy war. Among Dayak Bukar Sadong tribe, men and women can be free and socialize with one another before they married. In this society, there is no ceremony merisik. Married usually happen when someone has adult enough and it is depend on choose of life. As farmers, the future husband wants future wife who can work in the garden or farming. They also expect candidates daughter or son has job with the government or private life to children and descendants guaranteed. Except for the forbidden marriage, be open to the Bidayuh community options for their children. In Bukar tribe, Sadong tribe and Selako tribe, they are allowed to choose the pair that he likes regardless of ethnic origin.

Propose: How marriage is done by different groups. In groups such as Selako, Jagoi and Lara, th marriage can be preceded by engagement. The engagement is marked by the exchange of engagement rings.

Engaged: There are relationships between harvest and wedding events. More much harvest results obtained, more marriages occur. This is because the engagement ceremony and marriage ceremony involving the big ceremony and luxury, especially for the eldest male or only child. If they fail to provide engagement and wedding feast, people will ridicule groom. That is why when the rice decreased revenue, engagement or marriage will also be reduced.Minimum age to be engaged to the daughter is in the past 16 years, while the son of 18 years.

Marriage Ceremony: Weddings are held depends on the ability of economic family wedding. In the Bidayuh community, choice of residence after marriage depends on many factors. The main factor is the economic position of married couples. In the marriage of husband and wife have been stable, they can sit at home. Dayak Selako prohibit too socialize between free men and women. Marriage can occur in a 'forced' through the practice known as 'batangkap'. This is a practice partner when men and women who regularly too closed although they not married yet can be brought to village leaders so that action can be taken. Those arrested after agreeing to marry heard by leaders and villagers to their relationship as husband and wife can be confirmed by holding a small ceremony. Another way of married is through 'nyagam' which future husband would be give mats and pillows to prospective wife’s.Usually men who choose to marry with widow. A perfect marriage according to the views of Selako, Lara and Jagoi tribe is marriage involving knowledge, roles and planning by parents. Marriage may also involve the role of middle person known as picara among Selako tribe to represent the men. Once all parties agree, the appropriate day and time will be set.

IBAN
Iban community is a majority in Sarawak. There are various ethnic groups in Iban community such as Balau, Sebuyau, Lemanak and others. Iban community still holds a strong identity tradition in addition to practice various types of unique customs. In term of geographical, most people Iban inhabit some remote areas focused in the middle of Sarawak and some small group live in small urban areas.
Marriage in the Iban community quite unique because there are some rules before a couple is eligible to become husband and wife. In the Iban community, groom need to exceed age twenty-two years. This is because in that age, the men are prepared to get married. For the girl, there is no specific age set. A perfect marriage for Iban community is in compliance with the requirements of customary marriages. Parties in violation of any customary marriage are required to pay a fine to avoid a married couple calamity. Finding pairs depending on the situation at home, if the family is large, their children will be slower getting married. Instead, when a family member at home is small, their children will as soon as possible getting married with the hope of family in-law can help family to do certain work. There are several specific stages in the Iban marriage, which are merisik, propose, engaged, wedding and after wedding.
Merisik: In the Iban community, marriage is usually determined by the groom. If a single man has consented to a girl, her parents or representatives will visit girl’s home for merisik. Meetings of both parties also known asberbunga-bunga or berjarum-jarum. At that time the conditions of marriage will be determined including gift and many others. The men-side family will send entourage to propose girls if the meeting result was encouraging.
Propose and engaged: The male entourage is usually not less than five and most twenty people consisting of old people. At that time the conditions will be determined including gift or dowry and others. After reaching consensus, the father of the man removes lapit or silver belt or silver sword as a sign of engagement. Then both parties will discuss the date and day of marriage. Thence, the girl can no longer receive single-man visits except her fiancé.Two or three days later, the male representatives will inform the engagement news to relatives and neighbors.
Wedding Ceremony: Various wedding preparations will be made for the weddings that will arrive.The men-side family will provide expenditure and goods that must be given to family woman. Family women also make various preparations, including hunting animals for slaughtered on the day of marriage. To invite guests, both parties to appoint their representatives to manage wedding invitations. The representatives take a few strands of rope with knot that shows how many days left the marriage will be held. If the rope has a five knot, which means the marriage will be held within five days. Special representative will leave the rope with knot to the host or head of the house that is responsible for opening the knot rope every day.
On the day of marriage, men entourage usually marched to the bride house by riding boat decorated clothpua kumbu if the bride through the river. If not, the groom will walk by road. Along the way, the entourage dressed in attractive will hit the gong. Once reach in the front of the bride house, cannon fire will be released. Then they are taking bath together in the river before wearing traditional clothing. Arriving at the long-house ladder, head of groom entourage asked to slaughter a pig in honor and at that time also will be heard guns firing in response-reward. On head of the stair, there are frame shaped like the city. Head of groom entourage had to open the first three cities, which are on the head of stairs, in the middle of the house and at the end of the house.
After that, the men entourage among the group of women will enter the bride's room. By tradition only female guests can enter the bride’s room by using rhythmic language to open door room crossed with a spear and closed by pua kumbu. Guests will be treated further with a wine that is tuakand various types of water such as air haus, air dahaga and air untung. As such they will be exposed to joke and together they are singing and beatinggendang. They also will go around three times at the house. After that drinking water will be sent to each guest and it is called air penyuci. If the marriage took place during the day, after lunch, then both sides will discuss about their family tree. If the marriage held at night, the discussion is done after midnight. They will discuss, and the oldest will explain the relationship between the bride and the groom which has family relationships. Before the discussion held, the host once again serves liquor called air perangsang to the guests.
Once they know the family relationship, a fine will be imposed on them. After that bride’s parents ask the gift. There are gift values that have been prescribed among the Iban community. The women family also requested payment of the breaking ladder which is sebilah beliung, opening doors payment which is a spear, opening net payment which is a sword and other small gift. The men were asked cleaner legs, a jar, a pair of place to hang gongs, kajang boat that a piece of cloth pua kumbuand some small gift. After explaining all gift, they set out the conditions relating to gift in the event of divorce. Demand will be lost after the occurrence of divorce is not clear.If the divorce is caused by man, the husband must pay back gift received first and the additional RM50 as fine. In case of attempt to denigrate any of the parties, the parties who are responsible will be charged another fine.
After that the cutting Pinang ritual will be carried out. A woman will bring out betel slap and then cut the Pinang. Pinang fraction will determine the time the bride must stay at husband’s house.Then a lemambang orbomoh will hold a ceremony to make child sleep and the surprise that child with a some verses pantun. Then Pinang will be distributed to guests and given breakfast. The ceremony is considered ended to carry out the custom if there is no custom error done by both parties. If the ceremony is already considered ended, the bride and the groom will bath in the river to clean themselves. It is also customary for them to hold a piece of seven yards cloth so that the offense during the marriage will be lost on each individual. After bathing, they slaughtered a pig as a sacrifice and also as a redeemer of sin. Once they clean themselves, bridal couple will wear their own cloth to go to the groom’s house. Along the way, the groups need to look happy because all mistakes have been eliminated. Next lively celebration was held at groom’s house.
At night, the bridal couple will accompany by the clamp respectively and will sit together above gong or a seat with woven fabric. This tradition can also be equated with sit in state of bride and groom at marriage ceremony among the Malay community. Partners will be witnessed by the audience at long house. Next person who called tukang ganyang will start ceremony. Chicken with the bounded legs is released and mentera read. Chicken was slaughtered, and the blood is taken for the bridal couple. This custom will ends with a banquet food and drink.
After the ceremony held at the groom’s house, again the ceremony held at the bride's house.Although they have been valid as a married couple, they cannot sleep together. Husband is still sleeping in the guest room. Any sounds that are heard throughout there will have its own purpose, whether good or otherwise. There are couples who had separated temporarily because they got bad mark.