Chinese Wedding: Types of Chinese Wedding

SIBLINGS MARRIAGE

Even this marriage is being prohibited in Chinese culture but it already been reported in Chinese Folk History long time ago. There have 2 persons who were Nuiwa( woman) and Fu Xi(man). Both of them were siblings. Long time ago, this world did not have many humans alive and these siblings have a great intention to marry each other but they felt ashamed. Because of that, they went to Kunlun Shan Hill and prayed to heaven to allow them to get married. They also said, “If You allowed us to get married, please covered us with mist to ensure we were not shy anymore. Nuiwa then, was covered her face with a fan as a symbolic to cover her shy. Nowadays, bride and as well as bridegroom at certain area in China still practicing this culture which was hiding their face with a fan.

CLAN MARRIAGE AND ANTITHESIS MARRIAGE

Inses marriage was the marriage between woman and man who having the same family name and this marriage has a risk to get the handicapped child and been strictly prohibited according to Chinese community. However, marriage between a son with relatives on the mother is not seen as inses. Different clans may have more than one surname. For example, there are many important clan who live along the Yellow River in ancient China, such as those that have the name of Huang Di Ji family, the family name common people, and Yan Di family who having family name, Jiang. Sometimes, these families were marriage with one generation to another generation.

Antithesis marriage is marriage outside the clan. This type of marriage is still happening in modern China. In Yunnan, men and women in minority groups, known as Nakhi form temporary pair and they hold each other as "Ahchu" instead of "husband and wife".


PERENNIAL MARRIAGE

In the perennial system of marriage, a man who became daughter’s husband will be living in his wife’s home. He also has to change his family name to his wife surname. This occurs in the transition from a monogamous marriage antithesis to indicate growth and decline of perennial system genes control system (ie system power father) in ancient China. When husband and wife died, were buried separately in the clan cemetery respectively.

CHINESE WEDDING: First Stage of Marriage

Now, we will discuss about the process of marriage according to chinese people..

Visit and Observe

Generally, the purpose of propose being held is to know the background of the girl that being admired. This is because Chinese communities are very concern in fact of family origin, one’s manner, characters and behaviors of the girl. These characteristics are very vital to ensure the stable marriage can be built. However, the method of propose is depend on the man’s parent because usually they will ask the girl’s relatives or the girl’s friends about that girl to be married. Most Chinese people prefer to hold these discussions in a formal, such as in restaurants accompanied by other relatives. Tradition of eating together in restaurants to discuss regarding this matter can make tighten relationship between the two parties.



Propose

This stage is only carried out after both satisfied with the family background respectively. Next, a representative will be selected to conduct home visits to the girls to discuss matters relating to marriage. During this time, bride’s mother will discuss with the representatives of the dowry, the allocation table in the marriage feast and the most auspicious day for marriage and suit with it. However, the men will not make any fresh offer because they fear will affect their status. Any agreement reached will been told to the parents of the man. After that, the parents will discuss with their son to fulfill the girl side requirements. Then, if the agreement has been decided, the engagement between them will be held.


Engagement

Star birth or known as ‘zodiac’ plays an important role to determine whether both partners are matching or not. This is also used as a guide for the engagement day based on the Chinese calendar. Therefore, they will get advice from fortune talenter for fixing the date of engagement based on a book "Toong-Su". Payment in the form of red envelopes (ang pau) will be given to tilik fortune as a token of appreciation for service advice.
The appropriate date and time is very important to avoid disaster or failure in marriage. At this time, the future groom will visit the bride's home to fulfill the request. The bride will submit a piece of red paper or "NYEN-sang" containing the name, age, and date of birth obtained from tilik fortune when she agreed to be engaged. At this time, the ring exchange ceremony will be held. The ring will be remaining at both bride and groom’s finger till the official marriage ceremony occurred.
After the ceremony exchanging rings, "NYEN-sang" of the woman will be returned to fortune tilik to enable craftsmen tilik comparing the birth date with "NYEN-sang" of the man. After that, he will set a date and an appropriate time and record on a sheet of red paper or "nyik-kor". The actual wedding date will then be recorded in the two pieces of "nyik-kor" and handed over to the men and women who want to get married. "Nyik kor" contains of the recorded rules and customs to be followed by the prospective bride.
During the ceremony exchange of rings or wedding day ceremonies will be held at the Marriage Registration Office. On engagement day, the family man will also provide "Big Prize" to the women. The ‘big prize’ given as marked money which wrapped by red envelopes and some other goods including tea, "add happiness cake", a pair of animals, sweets and sugar, alcohol and tobacco. Tea is the most important prize as both families are prayed for the marriage couples to get many descendants like the tea had been provided. One day before the wedding ceremony, the groom’s family will invite their relatives or close friend to the bed set at the groom’s new house. Based on Chinese belief, the boy who is not married will be invited to sleep in the bed at night before the wedding day to ensure the wedding couple will bring fertility to them.

CHINESE WEDDING: Second Stage of Marriage

After been engagement for about a year or a period agreed by both parties, the weddings will be held. The marriage will be delayed if the death among the families occurred. This is because to show some respects and sympathy. The marriage must be postponed for one year if this situation occurs. But, nowadays, modern Chinese has decrease the duration of time to 100 days only. The traditional bridal costumes usually decorated with gold thread and made from the silk cloth and there are in white, red or yellow in color. The bridal costumes with black, blue and grey in color were strictly prohibited as these colors give the meaning of sadness or death.
On the morning of marriage, the ceremony of decorating hair on the bride will be conducted. The bride's family will invite women who have considered a good luck will come to help decorate the bride hair with women who still have parents and their children. These women will say a good word when binding bun bride.

Then, the groom will take tandu which most Chinese people today are more likely to choose a luxury car with a group of relatives and friends to invite the bride. They will make a sound along the journey to the bride house to create a lively scenario. Next, the groom goes directly to bride's house. When arrived, younger brother of the bride or the nearest male relatives who have not married will open the car door and will be awarded with a red envelope (ang pau).


A woman known as "Sam Poh" will help and guide both bride during marriage ceremony. Prior to invite the bride, the groom need to wait outside while enjoying the sweet bird soup with two eggs served by a man from the bride's family and then he was awarded by a red envelope just like before. This is believed to bring happiness to the lives of marriage couples in their future.
The ceremony will begin with marriage ceremonies to worship ancestors, or better known as the ceremonial "kow tow" in which the bride will be kneeling three times to heaven and earth, ancestors and their parents. Then, the couples will bow to one another and the Tea Ceremony will happen then. The parents of marriage couples will give the ‘ang pau’ to both of them. Besides that, ‘Sam Poh also been awarded the ‘ang pau’ for her contribution in guiding the bride and groom during the marriage ceremony.


Before leaving the house to groom, the ceremony taking photos with relatives and friends will be held. After that, the flower girls will carry a red umbrella to protect the bride to the groom’s transport (or tandu). The relatives of the bride would throw rice, red beans and green beans to her. The Red umbrella is believed will protect the bride from evil spirits, while rice and beans will attract gold chicken that brings good luck.
While awaiting the arrival of bridal couple, a small feast will be held at the groom’s home to entertain relatives, friends and neighbors. After the bride groom arrived at the house, fireworks and music with the sound of gong and drum will be played to celebrate the arrival. The bride will step up above the iron basins that have lighted the flame. It is a ritual to bring happiness and keep away from evil spirits. The ancestor worship ceremonies and drinking tea ceremony will be held again at home as a sign of respect to the family of groom. With this, the couple is already become legally married according to traditional Chinese culture.
(Source: Ann Wan Seng, (1995). Chinese Customs And Taboos. Penerbit Fajar Bakti)

On the night of marriage, the bridal couple will drink wine from two cups tied together by rope and red-colored cross between their hands. Based on Chinese culture, this act is a binding promise of marriage which common has in the Chinese marriage. Then, the bride will be given ladu half cooked and will be asked whether it was raw ladu. The bride must be answered "crude" represents she will bear a child and shows a happy family.
(Source: Ann Wan Seng, (1995). Chinese Customs And Taboos. Penerbit Fajar Bakti).

CHINESE WEDDING: Third Stage of Marriage

The bride should wake up early the next day to provide food to her husband’s family. This could prove the loyalty of the bride to the groom’s family and shows that the bride has the good manner and well qualified to be a wife. The bride will return home to visit her family with her husband three days after marriage. At that time, the groom will give a roast pork to the bride’s family as a sign of purity of the bride. Next, the bride will distribute pork to the relatives and neighbors.

CHINESE WEDDING: Marriage Needs

Wedding Custom/Wedding Dress

Usually, the wedding custom is in red of color to symbolize good luck and fortunate. According to Chinese belief, the light color can drive away the evil spirit from disturbing their lives. At North of China, the wedding traditional dress likes robe or known as “Qi Pao” where it made from gold and silver thread to reveal the elegance. For the bride at Southern of China, they used to wear a dress which known as “Qun Gua”, “Kwa” or Cheongsam. “Qun Gua” can be divided to two parts and they been decorated with sewing in shape of dragon and phoenix bird which symbolize as the ideal loving between the couple. Besides that, the traditional bride’s dress usually include a red cover which been wear to cover the bride’s face at wedding ceremony. The both couple can only look each other directly at wedding night. However, this belief is no longer been practiced by the modern wedding couple nowadays because the wedding in this time no longer been decided by the parents of the bride and groom.

Dragon Wax and Phoenix

The shape of the dragon and phoenix usually been printed on the red wax which used at the wedding ceremony as symbolizing the unity towards the new family. The wax also been used at the wedding night to drive out the evil spirit because the evil spirits are not dare to come closer to the light environment. In addition, the wax can create the romantic environment to the wedding couple.

Happiness Sign and Red Envelope

Happiness sign which in the form of engraving marks on paper or metal fragments will be pasted to the entrance door of the house for the both families and also at the invitation Desk. It is considered the most important decoration in Chinese wedding ceremony. Furthermore, the happiness sign also was pasted at the bridal transport(car). The red envelope or ang pau occurred at the most official Chinese ceremony like the wedding ceremony and many more as it been said to have a good luck at that ceremony.

INDIAN WEDDING: Bariksha(merisik)

Indian Wedding

After discussing about both Malay and Chinese wedding, for sure Indian wedding is the next topic. All can guess, right. Hopefully, you all can enjoy the reading..

Introduction

Indian community is the third largest ethnic group in Malaysia and also one of the people who have contributed towards the formation of a plural society in our country. Like other communities, the Indian community is also rich with features and still maintains their cultural culture until now. A costume practiced by the Indian community has many cultural similarities with the Malay community. This is clearly seen in the aspect of birth and marriage. Like other communities, the Indian community consists of various ethnic groups.

Indian weddings are very bright events, filled with ritual and celebration that continue for several days. They are not small affairs, often with 400-1000 people attending (many of whom are unknown to the bride and groom). Though most marriages are arranged, some couples in urban areas have love marriages. The true Indian wedding is about two families getting wedded socially with much less emphasis on the individuals involved.

Before the wedding day:

Bariksha(merisik)

Bariksha (Var-iksha probably) is when the bride's parents have informally shown intentions that they want a particular groom, and the groom and his family have agreed. In this stage, several aspects need to be considered factors such as ethnicity, sub-ethnic, caste and religion. In addition, other factors such as economic status and social status include aspects such as age, education level, type of work, ethics and morality, looks and family background is also important. Often the information was obtained directly from the parties involved and also indirectly through friends and relatives. Sometimes the middle called tirumana taragaakan assist in this stage. Retracting at the end of this stage is frowned upon but is acceptable.

INDIAN WEDDING: Visit to the bridal house & to match the bridal

Visit to the Bridal House

Traditional custom is done after Bariksha done. Groom will visit the bride to his see future wife. Only a nominal number of members of the groom's family are present (usually only very close relatives, often in tens of numbers.

To celebrate this ceremony, the grooms family will brings the coconut, sirih, pinang, cendana, fruits, sounds and Kumkum powder. All the gifts are assuming as a sign of their arrival on the good faith and to further strengthen family relationships. The women will receive gifts, if agreed. If not, they only treat those who come as guests and can not take the gifts.

The bride will wear a sari and responsible serving of drinking water. At that time groom will see the bride more closely. Therefore, the bride will serve the guests who will include her future husband. Then visit this awarded by representatives of women. This time the bride did not participate. In the Indian community, custom pens paarttal also seeks to know the background of the groom.

Next stage is to match the bridal..

To Match the Bridal

This traditional will conducted first. It’s called Thairumanam Poruttam Paartal. In Hinduism there is no concept of divorce. There are 21 aspects to be taken in order to determine the suitability of a bridal couples in the way of tilikan dimanak Hindu. The others traditional which still practiced by the Hindu community are Tina poruttam / Natcattira poruttam, Kana poruttam, Mahentira poruttam, Pentiikka poruttam, Yooni poruttam, Raasi poruttam, Raasiyaati paati poruttam, Vaiya poruttam, Racau poruttam and Veetai poruttam.

INDIAN WEDDING: Bind Promise

Bind Promise

Bind promise or niccayam made after the approval of both bridal families. Representative men will go to the bride house in the total number of odd and brings the coconut, betel, pinang, flowers, fruits, cendana and Kumkum to be given to women representatives.

Once they arrive, both bridal fathers will discuss about the marriage. If one of the bridal father had died, the discussion will be held with the relatives. If both are agreeing, they will make a promise.

After that, the groom will recite the promise as approving that he will marry the bride. Next wedding will be announced to the public. As a sign of bonds, both bridals will change the sirih pinang which are name it as taambuulan marrutal. Then they will discuss about the cost for wedding day, invitation cards and so on. Then the niccayam ceremony will be performed and typically will be conducted by exchanging garlands.

INDIAN WEDDING: invitation cards & parisam

Invitation Cards

Invitation cards play an important role in the marriage of the Indian community. Invitation card is based on the Hindu almanac. If something happens, meaning the marriage can not be carried out smoothly. Turmeric powder will be applied on the invitation cards as the symbol of harmony.

Several pieces of invitation cards in odd numbers will be brought together into the temple to be pray (arccanai). Card is placed on the tray with betel, money, oil, pinang as a symbol of wealth.

The ceremony is called paanam paaku. Then tray will be brought to the bride house to be given to the groom and the groom also will bring the tray to bride. At the same time sirih pinang will be given as a sign of invitation marriage officially.

Parisam

Traditional parisam divided into two, namely parisam udan and common parisam. Common parisam is a gift will be given before the wedding day, while udan parisam is a gift will be given on the same day in the morning before the wedding day. In the Indian community, parisam is like an engagement ceremony. Traditional parisam gift will be held on the certain day set by both families. The groom will send the gift in the odd number. This gift will be prepared by cumanggali which is married woman.

INDIAN WEDDING: preparation of Thaali

Thaali or tjirumaangalyam a sacred symbol of marriage like a necklace both brides. Thaali was prepared by a white yarn applied with turmeric. Traditional thaali preparation is done seven or nine days before the marriage.

Three days before the marriage, thaali will be taken and put in praying place. After that, the prayer ceremony (thaalippadaiyal) will be conducted. In a ceremony, sweet porridge and sweet rice is provided include dhoti and sari for wedding couples.

INDIAN WEDDING: wedding day...

Thirumanan means through mergers or sacred marriage bond between husband and wife will remain until the end of life. There are three types of marriage in Indian society, namely Vaitikat Thairumanam, Tamil Thairumanam and Diya Thairumanam which the marriage is conducted based on aspects of ethnic groups

Wedding ceremony started with niccayam (bind promise) by giving gifts such as clothing and other. Invitation card applied with turmeric water brought to the temple in the odd number as a sign of official wedding invitation.

Kanggenam ceremony which is planting a tree that is straight and was applied with turmeric powder three days before the marriage. The groom is not allowed out for three days before the marriage. Marriage ceremony is performed by the Pedanda. Pedanda will scatter nine types of grains after the event wearing the ring. The groom will garlanding thaali made from yarn and is applied with turmeric. Both brides will give honor to their parents and change the tray filled with fruits and sweeping the dust on the bride forehead.

Among the custom made to respect and receive blessings include the gift of a piece of coconut with hole at the top, pour milk into it, giving betel, kissing the feet of parents (parents washing feet), giving gifts which are dhoti (father-in-law), essence (mother-in-law) and money. Typically bridal couple will exchange garlands three times and share the banana drink milk mixed. This ceremony marks the pair officially became husband and wife. Several important factors taken before the marriage ceremony held is to find happiness in life, including as a good time to married, meaning of thaali, valatu Kal, giving sweets, gifts, tribute to the groom, a symbol of banana trees, wedding banquet and open the wedding camp.

ORANG ASLI WEDDING

Orang Asli community in Malaysia is a small community and they are native community in this country. The Orang Asli community was officially divided into three groups. The largest is Negrito, Melayu Asli and Senoi. Senoi and Negrito tribe and were classified into six small tribes. Melayu Asli tribe divided into seven small tribes. Since there are various ethnic groups among the Orang Asli, then there are many differences in the way of living, speaking and the language used. Culture and customs are also different and has its own uniqueness. Many Aboriginal people married when still young age. For men, age 18 years is the most appropriate age for getting married. When women were aged 16 years and shall be not more than age men. Marriage is done by parent prospective bride, the ceremony began from merisik until a person has become legally married couple. There are also among the Orang Asli who were engaged at an early age. Normally, men and women have relationships such as brother or cousin or second cousin has the same ethnic groups. It is not an offense if the prospective groom to marry a woman from another tribe. But the wife must enter the husband's ethnic groups.

Hantar Tanda: Hantar Tanda or send a ring headed by a deputy village chief to set the day woo After it was done sending the ring. Usually send the ring is done by parents and older family members.

Propose: On the fixed date the both sides, represented by the Tok Batin / Porridge / Penghuhu / Jungkerah and Penggawa if different ethnic groups. They held discussions in a large house or hall. When the ceremony finished propose a date to set up the day of married about seven months, eight months or a year from the propose ceremony.

Marriage Ceremony: The ceremony was initiated by sharpening the teeth of both bride and groom to remove misfortunate. This is important so that all the problems faced during single and after the marriage is not faced. There is also a state sharpening teeth is to prove the maturity of the couple and they can responsible to their responsibilities. Bridal couple is required to perform the Berinai ceremony. Fingers of both bride and groom will cover with crush henna leaves. Berinai ceremony usually held until the next morning. At the same time dancing till the morning dance will be held. Bridal dais made of palm leaves or braid of rumbia leave, while the pillars are made of wood designed like a small house. This dais is made in front of bridal couple home. If ethnic groups live in the long house, the ceremony will held in the middle of the long house to be viewed by other family members. On the marriage ceremony, all family members will powdery bridal couple by sprinkle with rose water and glutinous rice as allow the marriage. Usually they usually wearing traditional wedding dress according to their own. Bride will be decorated with various hand made accessories. Accessories worn by the bride is a bracelet, a necklace made from beads of a variety of colors. Then head circumference were made from leaves to beautify the couple. On the day persandingan, various delicious food provided by both representatives. Food was then distributed to all guests to eat together during ceremony. After that, the ceremony ended by bathing the couple as the sign they already be husband and wife.

After Marriage: Usually the bride will live in groom’s house for a few days before they returning back to bride’s home to stay for few days. This is important so that the bridal couple will quickly friendly with their new family.

orang asli wedding ceremony