Welcome TO OUR Blog*_*

Assalammualaikum and happy good time to all the readers. Thanks a lot as you spent your precious time to visit our blog. This blog will touch on the marriage decription among all the races in our beloved country, Malaysia. For your information, this blog is authorised under SHE101 project and we're supervised by our lecturer, Dr Yusri bin Yusup.
For this project, we're decided to choose MARRIAGE as our scope research...Emm why we chosed this title??? One of the reason is this title is so interesting to discuss certainly.(^_^)..In addition, Malaysia consists of various kind of races and our Prime Minister with his trade mark,'ONE MALAYSIA' tends to ensure malaysian are getting along and never feel differ even we're from different races, religion and etc. Based on that, we're decided to focus on marriage as this kind of subject is yet popular among all the races..So, we're really hope all of you can get some knowledges here and can share it also with others...perhaps!Enjoy the facts*_*!!!

INTRODUCTION

As all of us know, Malaysia is a multiracial country. Malaysia's population comprises many ethnic groups, with the statistics of :

Statistics:

Malay/ Bumiputera = 65%

Chinese = 26%

Indian = 8%

Others = 1%

Our study is mainly on Malay, Chinese and Indian only as it represents the largest ethnic groups in Malaysia. Our main interest is on the wedding ceremony and customs on all the three main races in Malaysia. Besides, we also discussed a little on Orang Asli, Ethnic Sabah and Ethnic Sarawak wedding ceremony. We think that wedding is a beautiful event, attended by many guests, family members and friends. It is also an event that can strengthen up relationship of the family members. Before we discuss further on our study, let us see the some important word glossary we often use in our study.

Glossary:

Wedding : The act or ceremony of marrying; marriage; nuptials.

Marriage : The social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.

All wedding are different of course, but nevertheless they also have many things in common. Besides studying on the wedding ceremony and customs, we also note down some of the important wedding taboos on all ethnic wedding ceremonies. Next, let's see what is the objective of our study?

Objective:

To understand, learn and have better understanding on the wedding history, ceremonies, customs and taboos on various ethnics in Malaysia (Malay, Chinese and Indian).

Every ethnic has their own unique in having their wedding ceremony. All the customs followed in the wedding ceremony was a great and valuable heritage and it should be passed down from generation to generation. The detailed of the wedding ceremony of each ethnic will be discussed below.

MALAY WEDDING

Malay's people are really having the strong faith with their culture where it give the impact into their life. For them, the wedding custom must be given much attention. Every event during wedding process taken must be celebrate rejoice and fully traditional. There are several levels for Malay's wedding that are:

• Merisik (Visit and Observe)
• Meminang (Propose)
• Bertunang (Engagement)
• Adat Berinai (Wearing Henna)
• Wedding Ceremony

Here, we will expose one by one of this unique customs that are still practice by Malay's people nowadays....

MALAY WEDDING:Merisik (Visit and Observe)

٩͡[๏̯͡๏]۶٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶٩͡[๏̯͡๏]۶٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶٩͡[๏̯͡๏]۶٩(•̮̮̃•̃)۶٩͡[๏̯͡๏]۶

This custom also call 'Meninjau' or 'Menengok' means observe or see. Its aimis to ensure that the girl is still single. This is important because in Islam, Muslim are not allowed to propose other's people fiancee. Therefore, it also can help the men to look foward with his future wife background which are related with domestic skill, culture, character, personality and importantly the similar belief in Islam. Commonly, this custom is done by his relatives like mother or uncle.

For girl side, there are some criteria that have to be looking foward before to accept the men propose to become her husband that are he should have the good background as a Muslim and have the good work for manage the big family one day.

The Condition to Propose Future Wife in Islam

1. That woman is not someone's fiancee.
2. That woman is not someone's wife.
3. That woman is not in 'iddah'.
4. That woman is not a person who 'haram' to marry for certain time, such as have the blood relation with wife or women who 'haram' to marry forever like her 'mahram'.

Sometimes, the men representative will give a ring that call im Malay 'Cincin Belah Rotan' and if she accepts, they will plan the date for next custom that is 'Peminangan'. But nowadays, the custom of 'Merisik' is seldom to be done because that couple already know each other, so they will proceed with 'Perminangan' to save the cost and time.

To know what are 'Peminangan' we continue it for next post.....see you!!

MALAY WEDDING: Meminang (Propose)

Once known that the girl has not been committed, the family will set a day for men to send a propose delegation. Managing person will be conducted by the immediate family of the men. Custom made for this pupose to state that they actually officially. Relatives of both parties will negotiate to set the date and time suitable for the engagement. In addition, discussion will also be held with repect to the delivary and the number of trips that will come to the ceremony of engagement to facilitate the women prepared during the engagement soon.

MALAY WEDDING: Bertunang (Engagement)

After discussions, the engagement ceremony will be held. The men will be represented by family members and closest relatives to the ceremony engaged. On that day, some feast will be held in conjunction with the engagement of the woman at home parties. Submissions like 'Barangan Hantaran' or presents consisting of 'Tepak Sirih' or 'Sirih Junjung', a ring, and some additional stuff like fruits, confectionery, clothing and many more will be given to the future wife.

By custom also, if the woman has an elder sister who still unmarried, the submission of presents will be give to her. This custom is called 'Langkah Bendul'. Number of presents are unique, which somewhat odd because the amount of five, seven, nine, eleven or thirteen, because it is said that the implication of even numbers are not good.Total delivery given by the woman will exceed the number of delivers by men. The custom to give expanses for wedding is also held during the engagement is conducted. However, sometimes it is run separately after a few weeks before the ceremony 'Persandingan' or reception conducted.

This ceremony will be initiated with representatives of the men to submit 'Tepak Sirih' to woman representatives and state their status officially. 'Pantun' or funny poem is often used in the ceremony as an intention to enliven that event. After the engagement was officially adopted, representatives of both parties will discuss the expanses of marriage, the engagement period and other related matters. The time period of engagement is usually one year or by consent of both parties.

The highlight of the ceremony during the engagement ring is put on the ring finger of future wife by the representatives of the male consisting of mother or sister. After that, engagement is already official.

MALAY WEDDING: Adat Berinai (Wearing Henna)

This custom is usually held in stages, that are:

Berinai Curi: held tree night before the wedding day with the nearest relatives only.

Berinai Kecil: held two night before the wedding day with relatives, neighbors and friends.

Berinai Besar: held the night before or after a wedding day for the special guest from the bride or groom invitation.

After the ceremony of 'Berinai' done, groom will not be spent at bride home, but will return to his home or if these groups come from far, the groom will spend the night at 'Penanggak' house, which mean houses close to the bride's house.

MALAY WEDDING: Wedding Ceremony

Before the wedding ceremony performed, many preparations will be undertaken include establishing big tent, prepare rooms and 'Pelamin' for the new bride and groom and also 'Bunga Telur'.

Wedding day is also known as 'Hari Langsung' or 'Hari Bersanding'. it is a ceremonial marriage and peak day for the bride and bridegroom call 'Raja Sehari'.

On that day, the council held with the royally attended by relatives, neighbors and friends. Both groom and bride will wear the wedding clothes, usually 'Songket' and beautifully decorated with glitter also.

Bride will be beautify by 'Mak Andam' before the 'Persandingan' ceremony began. For 'Mak Andam', traditional bridal makeup preceded by a spell curse to bring out the face glow of bridal and the bride is fed with 'Sireh' to remove the sense of nervous. There is also a bridal shaven eyebrows and cut the face hair to look more attractive.

Tradition seeks to sharpen the teeth is also done to beautify the teeth. But this tradition is no longer practiced by the Malay community today.

The groom will be pageant with 'Kompang' and accompanied by 'Bunga Manggar'. Arrival groom entourage will be greated with the splash of 'Beras Kunyit'. The bride will celebrate the arrival of the groom and then the bride and groom bridal then will be bring to the outside of house and sat in special places provide. Typically, the presentation of 'Pencak Silat' is also called the bride worship will be held. After that, the bride will be brought up to the house for 'Adat Bersanding'. In some places, the groom had a few obstacles in front of the stairs, in doorways or on the couches for the bride. Therefore representative groom must pay a ransom door or couches. Bride will be in harmony over a bed decorated beautifully and at the top of the couches is 'Bunga Pahar'. During this tradition held, 'Menepung Tawar' also done where the rose is splash on the bride and groom. The invited guests is attendance will also be given 'Bunga Telur'.

Next, the eating together event that is called 'Makan Beradab' or 'Makan Berdamai' conducts. Council was only attended by immediate family members of both parties. after the ceremony is over, both bride and groom will be shaking hands with parents, relatives and spectators who came.


In some places, two or three days after the wedding, the bridal couple will undergo ritual bath or 'Mandi Berlimau' or 'Mandi Sampat'. The ceremony is conducted as a symbol of that couple was safely together as a husbans and wife is valid. In this ceremony, the bride will be shower with 'Mayang Pinang', 'Air Kelapa' or 'Air Limau'. This custom made among immediate family members only.

A week after that, a custom 'Menyambut Manantu' to celebrate daughter in law will be held. In some places it is called 'Majlis Bertandang'. wedding will be held at groom home, but it is not delightful like the wedding ceremony in the bride house, it just simple. There is also some Malay people run it by only doing the prayer 'Majlis Doa Selamat' attend by relatives and neighbors without ceremony called 'Persandingan'.

After a few days at groom house, husband-wife will be taken to visit the family houses and relatives. The aim is to closer the relationship ties and in addition, both of them can get to know with the families of both parties.

CHINESE WEDDING~

End of malay Wedding..now, we will continue in discussing about the Chinese Wedding which also quiet interesting and impressing!!!

From the perspectives of Traditional Chinese community, the person who having primitive lives and does not have the attention to get married is actually having their life like the other animals and the family relationship conception is not exist in their lives!!! This is a really straightforward statement but it actually facts. So, it shows how significant marriage comes into the picture for Chinese community.
According to Confucianism in mission of civilization, they have their definition in terms to define the human interaction such as father or husband and also to teach human to respect of this interaction. Chinese Wedding has becomes the common custom within 402 - 221 BC. Before modernization world, the girl is not allowed to choose their soul mate instead; her family will decide it for her. The marriage occurs just to fulfill the requirement for breeding and ensure the good family name in ‘all right reserved’ as well as for fathers and husbands’ requirement. Although the Chinese has their own old folk history but there has six ritual events which in general known as ‘3 aksara and 6 etiquette’, (Propose, Birthday Comparison, Engagement Gift, Wedding Gift Delivery, Election Marriage Day and Wedding Ceremony)





( illustration picture only..*_*..)

There also have several types of marriage according to Chinese community; there are sibling's marriage, klan's marriage, Antitesis marriage and Perennial System marriage. Let's check it out all those things^_^...

Chinese Wedding: Types of Chinese Wedding

SIBLINGS MARRIAGE

Even this marriage is being prohibited in Chinese culture but it already been reported in Chinese Folk History long time ago. There have 2 persons who were Nuiwa( woman) and Fu Xi(man). Both of them were siblings. Long time ago, this world did not have many humans alive and these siblings have a great intention to marry each other but they felt ashamed. Because of that, they went to Kunlun Shan Hill and prayed to heaven to allow them to get married. They also said, “If You allowed us to get married, please covered us with mist to ensure we were not shy anymore. Nuiwa then, was covered her face with a fan as a symbolic to cover her shy. Nowadays, bride and as well as bridegroom at certain area in China still practicing this culture which was hiding their face with a fan.

CLAN MARRIAGE AND ANTITHESIS MARRIAGE

Inses marriage was the marriage between woman and man who having the same family name and this marriage has a risk to get the handicapped child and been strictly prohibited according to Chinese community. However, marriage between a son with relatives on the mother is not seen as inses. Different clans may have more than one surname. For example, there are many important clan who live along the Yellow River in ancient China, such as those that have the name of Huang Di Ji family, the family name common people, and Yan Di family who having family name, Jiang. Sometimes, these families were marriage with one generation to another generation.

Antithesis marriage is marriage outside the clan. This type of marriage is still happening in modern China. In Yunnan, men and women in minority groups, known as Nakhi form temporary pair and they hold each other as "Ahchu" instead of "husband and wife".


PERENNIAL MARRIAGE

In the perennial system of marriage, a man who became daughter’s husband will be living in his wife’s home. He also has to change his family name to his wife surname. This occurs in the transition from a monogamous marriage antithesis to indicate growth and decline of perennial system genes control system (ie system power father) in ancient China. When husband and wife died, were buried separately in the clan cemetery respectively.

CHINESE WEDDING: First Stage of Marriage

Now, we will discuss about the process of marriage according to chinese people..

Visit and Observe

Generally, the purpose of propose being held is to know the background of the girl that being admired. This is because Chinese communities are very concern in fact of family origin, one’s manner, characters and behaviors of the girl. These characteristics are very vital to ensure the stable marriage can be built. However, the method of propose is depend on the man’s parent because usually they will ask the girl’s relatives or the girl’s friends about that girl to be married. Most Chinese people prefer to hold these discussions in a formal, such as in restaurants accompanied by other relatives. Tradition of eating together in restaurants to discuss regarding this matter can make tighten relationship between the two parties.



Propose

This stage is only carried out after both satisfied with the family background respectively. Next, a representative will be selected to conduct home visits to the girls to discuss matters relating to marriage. During this time, bride’s mother will discuss with the representatives of the dowry, the allocation table in the marriage feast and the most auspicious day for marriage and suit with it. However, the men will not make any fresh offer because they fear will affect their status. Any agreement reached will been told to the parents of the man. After that, the parents will discuss with their son to fulfill the girl side requirements. Then, if the agreement has been decided, the engagement between them will be held.


Engagement

Star birth or known as ‘zodiac’ plays an important role to determine whether both partners are matching or not. This is also used as a guide for the engagement day based on the Chinese calendar. Therefore, they will get advice from fortune talenter for fixing the date of engagement based on a book "Toong-Su". Payment in the form of red envelopes (ang pau) will be given to tilik fortune as a token of appreciation for service advice.
The appropriate date and time is very important to avoid disaster or failure in marriage. At this time, the future groom will visit the bride's home to fulfill the request. The bride will submit a piece of red paper or "NYEN-sang" containing the name, age, and date of birth obtained from tilik fortune when she agreed to be engaged. At this time, the ring exchange ceremony will be held. The ring will be remaining at both bride and groom’s finger till the official marriage ceremony occurred.
After the ceremony exchanging rings, "NYEN-sang" of the woman will be returned to fortune tilik to enable craftsmen tilik comparing the birth date with "NYEN-sang" of the man. After that, he will set a date and an appropriate time and record on a sheet of red paper or "nyik-kor". The actual wedding date will then be recorded in the two pieces of "nyik-kor" and handed over to the men and women who want to get married. "Nyik kor" contains of the recorded rules and customs to be followed by the prospective bride.
During the ceremony exchange of rings or wedding day ceremonies will be held at the Marriage Registration Office. On engagement day, the family man will also provide "Big Prize" to the women. The ‘big prize’ given as marked money which wrapped by red envelopes and some other goods including tea, "add happiness cake", a pair of animals, sweets and sugar, alcohol and tobacco. Tea is the most important prize as both families are prayed for the marriage couples to get many descendants like the tea had been provided. One day before the wedding ceremony, the groom’s family will invite their relatives or close friend to the bed set at the groom’s new house. Based on Chinese belief, the boy who is not married will be invited to sleep in the bed at night before the wedding day to ensure the wedding couple will bring fertility to them.

CHINESE WEDDING: Second Stage of Marriage

After been engagement for about a year or a period agreed by both parties, the weddings will be held. The marriage will be delayed if the death among the families occurred. This is because to show some respects and sympathy. The marriage must be postponed for one year if this situation occurs. But, nowadays, modern Chinese has decrease the duration of time to 100 days only. The traditional bridal costumes usually decorated with gold thread and made from the silk cloth and there are in white, red or yellow in color. The bridal costumes with black, blue and grey in color were strictly prohibited as these colors give the meaning of sadness or death.
On the morning of marriage, the ceremony of decorating hair on the bride will be conducted. The bride's family will invite women who have considered a good luck will come to help decorate the bride hair with women who still have parents and their children. These women will say a good word when binding bun bride.

Then, the groom will take tandu which most Chinese people today are more likely to choose a luxury car with a group of relatives and friends to invite the bride. They will make a sound along the journey to the bride house to create a lively scenario. Next, the groom goes directly to bride's house. When arrived, younger brother of the bride or the nearest male relatives who have not married will open the car door and will be awarded with a red envelope (ang pau).


A woman known as "Sam Poh" will help and guide both bride during marriage ceremony. Prior to invite the bride, the groom need to wait outside while enjoying the sweet bird soup with two eggs served by a man from the bride's family and then he was awarded by a red envelope just like before. This is believed to bring happiness to the lives of marriage couples in their future.
The ceremony will begin with marriage ceremonies to worship ancestors, or better known as the ceremonial "kow tow" in which the bride will be kneeling three times to heaven and earth, ancestors and their parents. Then, the couples will bow to one another and the Tea Ceremony will happen then. The parents of marriage couples will give the ‘ang pau’ to both of them. Besides that, ‘Sam Poh also been awarded the ‘ang pau’ for her contribution in guiding the bride and groom during the marriage ceremony.


Before leaving the house to groom, the ceremony taking photos with relatives and friends will be held. After that, the flower girls will carry a red umbrella to protect the bride to the groom’s transport (or tandu). The relatives of the bride would throw rice, red beans and green beans to her. The Red umbrella is believed will protect the bride from evil spirits, while rice and beans will attract gold chicken that brings good luck.
While awaiting the arrival of bridal couple, a small feast will be held at the groom’s home to entertain relatives, friends and neighbors. After the bride groom arrived at the house, fireworks and music with the sound of gong and drum will be played to celebrate the arrival. The bride will step up above the iron basins that have lighted the flame. It is a ritual to bring happiness and keep away from evil spirits. The ancestor worship ceremonies and drinking tea ceremony will be held again at home as a sign of respect to the family of groom. With this, the couple is already become legally married according to traditional Chinese culture.
(Source: Ann Wan Seng, (1995). Chinese Customs And Taboos. Penerbit Fajar Bakti)

On the night of marriage, the bridal couple will drink wine from two cups tied together by rope and red-colored cross between their hands. Based on Chinese culture, this act is a binding promise of marriage which common has in the Chinese marriage. Then, the bride will be given ladu half cooked and will be asked whether it was raw ladu. The bride must be answered "crude" represents she will bear a child and shows a happy family.
(Source: Ann Wan Seng, (1995). Chinese Customs And Taboos. Penerbit Fajar Bakti).

CHINESE WEDDING: Third Stage of Marriage

The bride should wake up early the next day to provide food to her husband’s family. This could prove the loyalty of the bride to the groom’s family and shows that the bride has the good manner and well qualified to be a wife. The bride will return home to visit her family with her husband three days after marriage. At that time, the groom will give a roast pork to the bride’s family as a sign of purity of the bride. Next, the bride will distribute pork to the relatives and neighbors.

CHINESE WEDDING: Marriage Needs

Wedding Custom/Wedding Dress

Usually, the wedding custom is in red of color to symbolize good luck and fortunate. According to Chinese belief, the light color can drive away the evil spirit from disturbing their lives. At North of China, the wedding traditional dress likes robe or known as “Qi Pao” where it made from gold and silver thread to reveal the elegance. For the bride at Southern of China, they used to wear a dress which known as “Qun Gua”, “Kwa” or Cheongsam. “Qun Gua” can be divided to two parts and they been decorated with sewing in shape of dragon and phoenix bird which symbolize as the ideal loving between the couple. Besides that, the traditional bride’s dress usually include a red cover which been wear to cover the bride’s face at wedding ceremony. The both couple can only look each other directly at wedding night. However, this belief is no longer been practiced by the modern wedding couple nowadays because the wedding in this time no longer been decided by the parents of the bride and groom.

Dragon Wax and Phoenix

The shape of the dragon and phoenix usually been printed on the red wax which used at the wedding ceremony as symbolizing the unity towards the new family. The wax also been used at the wedding night to drive out the evil spirit because the evil spirits are not dare to come closer to the light environment. In addition, the wax can create the romantic environment to the wedding couple.

Happiness Sign and Red Envelope

Happiness sign which in the form of engraving marks on paper or metal fragments will be pasted to the entrance door of the house for the both families and also at the invitation Desk. It is considered the most important decoration in Chinese wedding ceremony. Furthermore, the happiness sign also was pasted at the bridal transport(car). The red envelope or ang pau occurred at the most official Chinese ceremony like the wedding ceremony and many more as it been said to have a good luck at that ceremony.

INDIAN WEDDING: Bariksha(merisik)

Indian Wedding

After discussing about both Malay and Chinese wedding, for sure Indian wedding is the next topic. All can guess, right. Hopefully, you all can enjoy the reading..

Introduction

Indian community is the third largest ethnic group in Malaysia and also one of the people who have contributed towards the formation of a plural society in our country. Like other communities, the Indian community is also rich with features and still maintains their cultural culture until now. A costume practiced by the Indian community has many cultural similarities with the Malay community. This is clearly seen in the aspect of birth and marriage. Like other communities, the Indian community consists of various ethnic groups.

Indian weddings are very bright events, filled with ritual and celebration that continue for several days. They are not small affairs, often with 400-1000 people attending (many of whom are unknown to the bride and groom). Though most marriages are arranged, some couples in urban areas have love marriages. The true Indian wedding is about two families getting wedded socially with much less emphasis on the individuals involved.

Before the wedding day:

Bariksha(merisik)

Bariksha (Var-iksha probably) is when the bride's parents have informally shown intentions that they want a particular groom, and the groom and his family have agreed. In this stage, several aspects need to be considered factors such as ethnicity, sub-ethnic, caste and religion. In addition, other factors such as economic status and social status include aspects such as age, education level, type of work, ethics and morality, looks and family background is also important. Often the information was obtained directly from the parties involved and also indirectly through friends and relatives. Sometimes the middle called tirumana taragaakan assist in this stage. Retracting at the end of this stage is frowned upon but is acceptable.

INDIAN WEDDING: Visit to the bridal house & to match the bridal

Visit to the Bridal House

Traditional custom is done after Bariksha done. Groom will visit the bride to his see future wife. Only a nominal number of members of the groom's family are present (usually only very close relatives, often in tens of numbers.

To celebrate this ceremony, the grooms family will brings the coconut, sirih, pinang, cendana, fruits, sounds and Kumkum powder. All the gifts are assuming as a sign of their arrival on the good faith and to further strengthen family relationships. The women will receive gifts, if agreed. If not, they only treat those who come as guests and can not take the gifts.

The bride will wear a sari and responsible serving of drinking water. At that time groom will see the bride more closely. Therefore, the bride will serve the guests who will include her future husband. Then visit this awarded by representatives of women. This time the bride did not participate. In the Indian community, custom pens paarttal also seeks to know the background of the groom.

Next stage is to match the bridal..

To Match the Bridal

This traditional will conducted first. It’s called Thairumanam Poruttam Paartal. In Hinduism there is no concept of divorce. There are 21 aspects to be taken in order to determine the suitability of a bridal couples in the way of tilikan dimanak Hindu. The others traditional which still practiced by the Hindu community are Tina poruttam / Natcattira poruttam, Kana poruttam, Mahentira poruttam, Pentiikka poruttam, Yooni poruttam, Raasi poruttam, Raasiyaati paati poruttam, Vaiya poruttam, Racau poruttam and Veetai poruttam.

INDIAN WEDDING: Bind Promise

Bind Promise

Bind promise or niccayam made after the approval of both bridal families. Representative men will go to the bride house in the total number of odd and brings the coconut, betel, pinang, flowers, fruits, cendana and Kumkum to be given to women representatives.

Once they arrive, both bridal fathers will discuss about the marriage. If one of the bridal father had died, the discussion will be held with the relatives. If both are agreeing, they will make a promise.

After that, the groom will recite the promise as approving that he will marry the bride. Next wedding will be announced to the public. As a sign of bonds, both bridals will change the sirih pinang which are name it as taambuulan marrutal. Then they will discuss about the cost for wedding day, invitation cards and so on. Then the niccayam ceremony will be performed and typically will be conducted by exchanging garlands.